Call me a Jackball, but I'm speechless - finally a toilet paper company is looking after us to help fight dingleberries.
Thanks, Charmin!!
Copyright © 2010, Jackballs Blog. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Start of the MLB Season
Hello you gorgeous bastards.... time for another post and apologies for taking my time - last post was near Valentine's Day (that bastion of Hallmark's jackball hold on American men's balls - but don't get me started there).
Today is the start of the MLB regular season. That's right - today's opening game is New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox in a game that I can only describe in advance as 'wicked good fun'. That the rivalry has been ongoing for decades now and it's only been getting better as the teams themselves continue to get stronger and stronger makes the anticipation worthwhile.
But I want to appeal to all the die hard fans out there - the jackballs that hurl insults at the umps and make the guy taking his kid to the ballgame cringe when all he really wants to do is let his kids experience a major league sports event and enjoy a Dodger Dog.
I want to see more of you paying attention to the soccer fans. We need more flags at the games, more beer imbibed (play beer-an-inning fellas), more vulgar and profanity laden epithets, more fights in the stands (b---h slap fights would be perfect), and for God's sake more fish-n-chips vans outside the stadiums for our long trip to parking area FF!
Let's face it, the jackball American Baseball fan doesn't really open the proper proverbial can of whoop a-- that the world's soccer fans do and it's really disappointing. I mean who doesn't want to watch the evening news and see a large scale fight in the stands of a stadium?
Everyone knows that the jackballs watching NASCAR are only waiting for a crash, right? People watching hockey wait for the 'checks'; those watching football look for the guy to land on his neck; and those who follow the PGA are waiting for a 50 year old golfer to finally find the (dimpled) balls to toss a 9-iron at Tiger for leaving them in the lurch for 4 months.
So get out there fans and make a young mother clamp her hands around her 5-year-old's ears. Make an old man mutter a 'tsk tsk' under his breath as he longs for the good ol' days. Yell from the seats in the back row of the upper mezzanine deck to the umpire, because he's sure to hear you call him a 'lying, cheating, son-of-a-b---h who couldn't see a f-----g ball if it hit you in your f-----g p---y' when you yell it to him from up there amongst 35,000 fans.
Com'on guys - let's do this thing!!!
As a separate note, this is my first year playing Fantasy Baseball and my team, "Hooked on 'Roids" is doing very well (we're in second place and the season hasn't start yet). I'll provide updates to the status of the team as the season progresses.
I have the team line up below - for those of you who follow baseball, I say, "hell, yeah, that's a f-----g team!" - for those of you who don't, I say, "check out all the names you might recognize."
Well, have a good season everyone and remember when you're at the stadium, there are a few people who just want to enjoy a good game. Don't be the jackball that ruins it for them.
Here's the Line-Up
Copyright © 2010, Jackballs Blog. All Rights Reserved.
Today is the start of the MLB regular season. That's right - today's opening game is New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox in a game that I can only describe in advance as 'wicked good fun'. That the rivalry has been ongoing for decades now and it's only been getting better as the teams themselves continue to get stronger and stronger makes the anticipation worthwhile.
But I want to appeal to all the die hard fans out there - the jackballs that hurl insults at the umps and make the guy taking his kid to the ballgame cringe when all he really wants to do is let his kids experience a major league sports event and enjoy a Dodger Dog.
I want to see more of you paying attention to the soccer fans. We need more flags at the games, more beer imbibed (play beer-an-inning fellas), more vulgar and profanity laden epithets, more fights in the stands (b---h slap fights would be perfect), and for God's sake more fish-n-chips vans outside the stadiums for our long trip to parking area FF!
Let's face it, the jackball American Baseball fan doesn't really open the proper proverbial can of whoop a-- that the world's soccer fans do and it's really disappointing. I mean who doesn't want to watch the evening news and see a large scale fight in the stands of a stadium?
Everyone knows that the jackballs watching NASCAR are only waiting for a crash, right? People watching hockey wait for the 'checks'; those watching football look for the guy to land on his neck; and those who follow the PGA are waiting for a 50 year old golfer to finally find the (dimpled) balls to toss a 9-iron at Tiger for leaving them in the lurch for 4 months.
So get out there fans and make a young mother clamp her hands around her 5-year-old's ears. Make an old man mutter a 'tsk tsk' under his breath as he longs for the good ol' days. Yell from the seats in the back row of the upper mezzanine deck to the umpire, because he's sure to hear you call him a 'lying, cheating, son-of-a-b---h who couldn't see a f-----g ball if it hit you in your f-----g p---y' when you yell it to him from up there amongst 35,000 fans.
Com'on guys - let's do this thing!!!
I have the team line up below - for those of you who follow baseball, I say, "hell, yeah, that's a f-----g team!" - for those of you who don't, I say, "check out all the names you might recognize."
Well, have a good season everyone and remember when you're at the stadium, there are a few people who just want to enjoy a good game. Don't be the jackball that ruins it for them.
Here's the Line-Up
| C | Jorge Posada (NYY - C) |
| 1B | Mark Teixeira (NYY - 1B) |
| 2B | Dan Uggla (Fla - 2B) |
| 3B | Chipper Jones (Atl - 3B) |
| SS | Jason Bartlett (TB - SS) |
| CI | Mark DeRosa (SF - 1B,3B,OF) |
| MI | Alexei Ramirez (CWS - SS) |
| OF | Ichiro Suzuki (Sea - OF) |
| OF | Manny Ramirez (LAD - OF) |
| OF | Johnny Damon (Det - OF) |
| OF | Jason Heyward (Atl - OF) |
| Util | Martin Prado (Atl - 1B,2B,3B) |
| BN | Yadier Molina (StL - C) |
| BN | J.D. Drew (Bos - OF) |
| BN | Adam LaRoche (Ari - 1B) |
| SP | Roy Halladay (Phi - SP) |
| SP | Chris Carpenter (StL - SP) |
| SP | Cliff Lee (Sea - SP) |
| SP | Derek Lowe (Atl - SP) |
| RP | Billy Wagner (Atl - RP) |
| RP | Phil Hughes (NYY - SP,RP) |
| RP | Kenshin Kawakami (Atl - SP,RP) |
| P | Tim Hudson (Atl - SP) |
| P | Clay Buchholz (Bos - SP) |
| P | Takashi Saito (Atl - RP) |
Copyright © 2010, Jackballs Blog. All Rights Reserved.
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